Paul Kearney

I envy this guy. He writes like I always thought I might be able to write if I were more disciplined, more devoted to the art, and, well, more talented. I'm just finishing the third novel in his fantasy series, The Monachies of God. This series comprises books that detail an imaginary history of a world vaguely like our own at the end of the middle ages. The first book, and you do need to read them in sequence, is Hawkwood's Voyage.

Kearney is such a solid writer. After three books I haven't detected any sign of his running out of gas from boredom or any hurrying the plot to meet deadlines, like you sometimes feel has happened with, say, a Saberhagen novel. It's all just good, even inspired, fiction writing. I'm envious. And I can't wait to see what happens in the next book.

Vampire

A good friend said North by Northwest, gives excellent seduction on a train. But Hollywood Video, the scum bucket, didn't have it. So I rented some Our Gang comedies on video and a French movie, Irma Vep. Watched part of the Our Gang (aka Little Rascals) with my 9-almost-10 yo, Holly. She was gratifyingly amused. We liked it. After I put her to bed, time for wine, almonds, and the other movie. Susan was getting acupunture from Mary, and I'm, basically, out of the picture on that. Hmmph. This has got to be the longest, most drawwwwwn out descent into divorce process, like, ever. So, I'm off to drink by myself and watch a video. Again.

But the video, as it turns out, was great. A quick review. If you're in the mood for an artsy French movie, named Irma Vep, about the making of an even more artsy French movie, to be called Irma Vep, that is a remake of a classic silent French movie named Irma Vep, and if you want the movie to star Maggie Cheung as a Chinese actress named Maggie Cheung, who is invited to star, as Irma Vep, in the remake of Irma Vep by a neurotic French director, and if you want the movie about a movie to have a scene with another movie about a movie in it, and if you want it to include Maggie in skintight latex inspiring unrequited lesbian love, well, this may be the French (with subtitles) movie for you. It was for me. I really liked it. Maggie, from Hong Kong, speaks only very good English, in the film, which makes me, the caucasian American, identify with her, the Chinese actress, more than with the French caucasians who speeek ze almost eeencomprehensible Anglish only weeth her, but speak to each other in perfectly understandable subtitles. It's a wonderfully understated comedy about complexly ridiculous and, thus, totally believable human relationships. Anyway, if that's the kind of movie you like, you'll like this one as much as I did. And the credit music (played as everyone leaves the theatre), "Bonnie and Clyde," is worth staying in your seat to enjoy. Four big stars, out of five.

Oh, and Irma Vep...Vampire...Irma Vep... Got it? Doesn't matter. In the silent film the letters get rearranged for you, from the name to the noun.

Good Lord

She was in all sorts of movies after Red River. I assumed that performance would have ended her career. But no.

More Loopy

My friend the looper, whom we now refer to as "Swami Love Money," sent me an article on looping in Santa Cruz Hmmmmmm. I still wish I had a Theramin.

Arrest Us All

And put us on probation. Read this post about the RAVE act again.

UN

Krauthammer on the end of the UN. .

Whew

Ok, so I finished Red River. I finally realized that the problem with the female character wasn't the character so much as the actress. Lauren Bacall might have pulled it off. But Joanne Dru...? What a sorry spectacle. It's trite, I know, but I wonder who she slept with to get the part. It must have been her big chance. And she is sooooo bad. She almost takes the whole movie down with her. Whenever she comes on, Mutiny on the Bounty becomes Petticoat Junction. I give Mont. Cliff the Oscar just for being able to stay in character while she is in the same scene. He must have had to think of dead children to keep from laughing. My favorite scene in the movie is when he puts his hand over her mouth so she has to stop talking. John W can't handle her, though. Working with Montgomery Cliff lifts him up, makes him act, but she pulls him right under and drowns him. Watch him in a scene with MC vs. in a scene with the Dru. I finally just fast forwarded whenever she came on. I think what bothers me the most, other than the Dru, is the callous attitude towards bit character lives. The gunslinger, Cherry, ends up being a pretty good guy. He's loyal and he tries to protect MC. But JW guns him down and leaves him in the dust. There, he apparently dies(?). You never know for sure, 'cause, hey, who cares: JW and MC end up as happy buddies again, and they're the stars. That's not really a spoiler, because, in case you haven't noticed, just about all movies in 1948 ended up happy. Maybe it was because the war had just ended. Anyway, if you disregard her and make allowances for the maudlin inclinations of period, it's a pretty good movie. I give it a B-. Three out of five stars, maybe. But if you really want to see a good western, rent Unforgiven.

Lifestyle Cops

Does this strike you as ridiculous or scary? From a news report:
"MOBILE, Ala. (AP) -- A third-grader who took a vitamin with his lunch at school was suspended for five days for violating the Mobile County system's zero-tolerance policy for substance abuse.

"Ricky Wright, the student's father, said the pill was a green multivitamin. Wright said he and his wife -- a registered nurse -- did not think his son, Ryan, was wrong in taking the pill to O'Rourke Elementary School."

It scares me.

Consider it along with this little report about a bill sponsored by good ole' Tom Daschle that would give Lifestyle Cops the legal right to arrest just about anybody they want to on drug charges. Including, apparently, the parents of this child, his teachers, his principal, and the owners of his grade school (everyone in the county?), since the kid took the vitamin---I mean, abused a drug--- on school-owned property at a school sponsored event!

Now, ask yourself, why would Dashle sponsor a bill like this? At least he is no longer majority leader.

Red River Redux (cont.)

It’s becoming a hobby for me to try and finish this movie. I got in another half-hour or so last night. My four star rating has a couple of the stars starting to fade (like that photo in “Back to the Future”). Problem is, they introduced a female character with a bizarre personality. Bizarre as in, flirts happily with Montomery Cliff in the middle of an attack by Indians. Jokes coquetishly about her poor performance with a rifle (the targets are Commanches riding past the circled wagons like ducks at a carnival) while people are dying around her. Smiles and continues to make small talk after getting an arrow in the shoulder. Etc. Why is this creature suddenly appearing in what had been a moderately realistic portrayal of a cattle drive? It would have been more believable if MC had developed a moving relationship with one of the cows. I’m hoping they find a reason to hang her before the movie ends.

In a Nutshell

From Bush's speech:

"Before September the 11th, many in the world believed that Saddam Hussein could be contained. But chemical agents, lethal viruses and shadowy terrorist networks are not easily contained. Imagine those 19 hijackers with other weapons and other plans, this time armed by Saddam Hussein. It would take one vial, one canister, one crate slipped into this country to bring a day of horror like none we have ever known."

For a nice essay about this quote and Bush's speech in general try the Jan 29 posting at:
http://www.andrewsullivan.com/

Red River Redux

Oops. Guess I got an itchy trigger finger. I shot too soon. Turns out it really was only the first half hour preamble that sucked. Once they start the cattle drive it gets really good. Stampedes. Asshole Trail Boss. Gunslingers with real personalities. Bullwhips. Sudden death. Nice twists to the plot. Real cattle herds crossing real rivers. I still haven't finished it (it's a long way to Abilene) but I've done 180 degree red-faced Red River verdict flip. Now I think it's a great movie. In fact, I wanna be a cowboy! I'll wear my gun real low on the hip. (If you get an outfit, you can be a cowboy, too.)

I'll let you know if I change my mind again.

The French Correction

Love the French? Their language of love? Their sense of taste? Their anti-war posturing? Read this...

What is French for "gratitude?" If it weren't for the American boys of my father's generation, it would be, "die Dankbarkeit."

Red River

With John Wayne and Montgomery Cliff. I finally rented this "classic" western last night (hmmm...is the insomnia related?) It's highly, highly overrated. Granted, I've only watched, so far, up to the start of the cattle drive. So I've not seen the meat of the movie (beef, that is, pardner, "to feed a hungry nation, help them grow"). Up to this point, and remember this is just a sort of pre-amble, John W. has killed, by my count, five men in live action and another seven or eight according to the story line and the crosses in his cow pasture (I mean free range). But "live action" is too good a phrase for this stuff. I got nothin agin killin in movies, understand, unless it's done in stupid, unbelievable, and callous ways. Add "pompous" and so far those adjectives apply to the entire movie. And worst of all, it's predictable and boring (ok, two more adjectives). Of course, I haven't gotten to the parts where JW humiliates MC or where JW says, "the hell I won't..." and hits some guy anyway. In fact, I may never get to those parts, unless someone brings back Mystery Science Theater and subjects the crew to Red River. I think I may rent a Jet Li movie tonight.

Insomnia

Insomnia.
X minus five hours 'til the alarm goes off.

Little Nemo in Burning Man Land

I had a strange dream about Burning Man last night. Funny thing is, it wasn’t any stranger than the reality of Burning Man, itself. In retrospect I think my dream-making demon may have met its match. It struggled a noble struggle to come up with some scenario, some bizzaro world situations, that would so distort the real Burning Man world that I would, you know, wake up astounded. And it did certainly distort the playa. There were pine trees scattered among the camps and huge gullys would suddenly appear under my bicycle as I rode around trying to find the people I was camped with. The dream demon pretty much threw in all its standard special effects. I mean, there I was, on the playa trying to set up camp and suddenly realizing I had forgotten to bring anything I needed, no food, nothing. But...so? That’s pretty much par for the real BM golf course. And, as for pine trees and gullys, I wouldn’t be surprised to see those show up this year, if they weren’t rejected as too unoriginal. And get this, the dream demon had me riding a bicycle that was old and beat up and barely worked the way a real bicycle would work, and I would ride and ride and not feel like I was getting anywhere. Come on! That describes the the real bike experience on the playa. And at one point there was some guy in a weird costume lying on a table in the middle of the crowd, and, then, suddenly, they were gonna let me be the one to take his blood pressure. OOooo, strange, huh? That could never happen on the real playa, oh no. Pretty pathetic. I didn’t even see a single original costume. Now that was weird for Burning Man! The dream demon even managed to come up with one or two ideas that might go over well if implemented by the DPW this year. The esplanade walk was all covered by this stadium-like awning made of plywood. Rather nice, really. And all of the camps comprised huge structures, no tiny little tents in the desert, everything was grandiose. That could work.

Yesterday's Lunch

Did Napolean's aunt and older sisters dote on him when he was a child? Did he chase the geese and get in trouble? Did he pee his pants? Which is the real Napolean, the untroubled child or the beastly dictator? Both are just the memory of words. Did Napolean even exist? Nobody lives, I think it's safe to say, who actually remembers Napolean. We have books and words. Some pictures, some yellowing letters, probably, that mention him. Statues, paintings, lots of circumstantial evidence. Nobody remembers actually seeing, hearing, touching him, but we speak of him like he was yesterday's lunch. Even yesterday's lunch, which is more real than Napolean, if it exists at all, is no longer in a form that most would consider a proper lunch, were it brought back up. I saw Ken Burns's series on PBS about the Civil War a while back. Shocking thousands of men killed, in battle after battle. Tens of thousands slaughtered. Then I realized, they're all dead. Not just the thousands of sad soldiers, but all their mourning families as well, and all the curious byestanders, and politicians, and singers of songs, and every single one of all the millions alive then throughout the world of the 1860s. All gone. Now just words, fading names, the memory of someone else's memory.

Reality

It really has me by the balls. Am I crazy? Would I ever know it if I were? I remember as a youth wondering if maybe I was actually insane and everyone was just humoring me. Then I would go over in my mind any instances I could recall where people had acted towards me in a way not consistent with my being insane (like when I got an "A" in college psychology classes). And there was the time, this was 30+ years ago, when I took mescaline and this chick told me, "You never really come down. You just get used to it..." Since that moment I've always wondered. Did I just get used to it? Is this what it's like to be permanently brain damaged?

Pancake Whore

You gotta read this guy's blog. It's somebody who is like so living Catcher in the Rye. I keep thinking, "God, they really are good to be able to write the way a teenaged male thinks." Then I realize this is a teenaged male, Dude, unfiltered and unadulterated. Unique and yet universal. Amazing