The Baloney Sandwich Horror

Tonight's movie was The Dunwich Horror (1970). H. P. Lovecraft's semi-classic horror story is given a low-budget run for the money. It starts out ok and goes downhill at a nice steady pace, but it doesn't stop when it reaches the bottom of the figurative hill. It plunges straight into the figurative earth and actually picks up speed as it burrows deeper and deeper and passes through B-Movie hell to come out on the other side where it has you laughing out loud better'n The Three Stooges in Opryland.

The big special effect in this film is to make the picture go red-negative and then to cut (again and again) to scenes of the sea crashing on rocks. And, for some reason, they filmed many of the scary scenes on beautiful, sunny california, blue-sky days. Made me want to be there.

Young Dean Stockwell is a gas as he apparently makes up satanic rituals on the fly, holding fists to his temples with thumbs out and saying "Mog wagga hoc" over and over. And catch the gay little flourishes he does with the ritual knife.

But the best part, and this is almost worth the price of the rental, is Sandra Dee---at 28 past her prime as a teeny star, but posessed of a truly hot bod---spreadeagled in a black nighty on the ritual altar. Delicious lingering shots of her thighs and even a glimpse of a nipple, yes this is the "Tammy, Tell Me True" Sandra Dee, as fiendish Dean Stockwell caresses her creamy breast while (offcamera) impregnating her with...THE UNBORN HORROR.

I also like the "dream demon" scenes, where what appear to be painted hippies on LSD chase a mildly perturbed Sandra around through beautiful, sunny california fields. Geez, where was I when they made this? I would have loved to have played a dream demon in this film.

The one real mystery in this movie is, what happened to the DUNWICH HORROR? When last seen, it is chasing townspeople through the woods and killing them by making them scream themselves to death. (By the way, notice how the Dunwich townspeople all hang out in a crowd and travel around together in a single pickup truck.) Then we cut (ok, this is a spoiler, if you have the IQ of a grapefruit and actually care what happens at the end), then we cut, I say, to Ed Begley turning Stockwell into a flaming marshmellow by counter-chanting at him. But, as near as I can tell (and I may have looked away at my aquarium for a critical second, I admit) the DUNWICH HORROR is never actually dispatched and must still be roaming those woods. Oh my.

Lesson of Viet Nam

Here's a great article on the "Immorality of Losing" by Hillel Halkin. On peace protesters:

"If anyone has failed to learn the lesson of Vietnam, it is they. Nothing could be more justified than overthrowing the regime of Saddam Hussein, destroying all weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and helping the Iraqi people lead a better life that might be a model for others in the Middle East. The only thing unjustified about an attack on Iraq would be its failure to meet these goals."

I've met several of them in person now, and you know, I really like Israelis.

Die Hard

Great movie. It makes cliches seem original. It features Bruce Willis when he still had most of his hair and Bonnie Bedilia---doesn't that sound like the name of the heroin in a children's book? She's sexy/plain, the best kind of sexy. This movie isn’t just head and shoulders above most “action” flicks, it’s several body lengths above. Its main plot line is full of twists that are developed by complex subplots. A limo driver subplot, a cop on the radio subplot, an ambitious news anchor subplot, and maybe a dozen more. And almost every scene economically moves the main storyline along while featuring a little story of it’s own with some rising tension and resolution. Bruce doesn’t just run around getting chased by and shooting bad guys. He has separate little adventures leading us to more adventures. He escapes into a vent shaft but encouters a rotating fan. He solves the problem of the fan but finds himself hanging over an abyss by a slowly slipping gun strap. He resolves that by swinging into a hidden opening but then has to…you get the picture. It gives you non-stop action and stunts without insulting your intelligence.



Oh, and the musical score is great, too, from Beethoven's 9th to "Let It Snow."

If you havn't seen it in ten or twelve years, go for it.

Iraq Liberation Postponed?

I hope this is dis-information put out to disquise the fact that special forces will move in early next Thursday or Friday morning to capture Sadaam.

Think Again

Against war on Hussein? Think it's against the interests of the Iraqui people? Read this. Think again.

Predicament

Speculation by G. Liddy’s son on the radio has it that Blair’s political need for a UN resolution is behind our going back to that august institution of monkies once again. Blair has done the right thing sticking by the U.S. and Bush feels obliged to try and save his political career. But, if we submit another resolution giving Sadaam yet one more blustering ultimatum, the UN may refuse to even vote on it ‘til Blix comes back on 3/14. This is a real quandary. Do we let the insane politics of Europe continue to govern the decisions of what’s in the interest of our nation? Will a further delay endanger more American lives? Is it worth the risk of having the whole effort collapse to save one person’s career? Do we even need the friggin British army? Is there really no way we can nuke France? Bush must be wrestling with these and a thousand other questions right now. I’m glad I don’t have his job.

I suspect he will come down on the side of loyalty to a deserving friend. One of our founding fathers warned us to “avoid foreign entanglements.” I see why.

Amazing Things

Blair is a liberal with integrity, principals and character. I’m amazed that they do still exist. Concerning a peace march he is quoted as saying:

"If there are 500,000 on that march, that is still less than the number of people whose deaths Saddam has been responsible for. If there are one million, that is still less than the number of people who died in the wars he started."

I would add that if there are ten million in the streets, that is still less than the number of people Sadaam aspires to kill.

On the other hand here’s the sort of things liberals in this country are saying:

``It is a myth that the Iraqi people will rise up against Saddam,'' said Palmira Brummett, professor of history at the University of Tennessee. ``The Iraqis are just like us. They are patriots.''

I hope someone makes her eat those words without mustard after they are proven wrong a few days from now. Where are all the Iraqui "patriots” demonstrating in support of Sadaam? They are free to do so in this country, and there are thousands of Iraquis living here. Why aren’t they in the streets? Why haven’t they joined in the Peace for the Beast of Baghdad cause?

WSJ documents all the last chances Sadaam has been given.

Insipid Insipience

The vapid honking of the European peace geese...

Don't you just love dictionaries!

Retroactive Impeachment

Jimmy Carter is a classless disgrace and an embarassment. I think it borders on treason---or at least, bad manners---for an ex-president to support those giving comfort to Sadaam Hussein at a time like this. He should just keep his mouth shut. Is it possible to remove someone from the presidency after they are already out of office? Liberals have rewritten the history books to make Jefferson a racist pig. Can't we make one more revision and just all agree that Carter was never president? I wish he would enter a room I was in sometime so I could pointedly turn my back on him. I wish he would try to shake my hand, so I could sneer and look right through him. (Yeah, that'd show him!) I wish I could be, like, a god, and have him come before me with that shit-eating self-rightous grin expecting to be acknowledged as a saint, so I could turn him purple with yellow polkadots and make him wear a tutu and sell Ronald Reagan dolls on a NYC street corner. On second thought, he might find that too much fun, once he relaxed and got into the swing of it. (I know I would.) No, I think if I were a god, I would turn Jimmy C into the wrapper on a package of weiners. Let them give a Nobel Peace Prize to that! But seriously, folks, I wish Jimmy C and Bill C would both dry up and blow away. Is that too much to wish for?

Liberal Talk Radio

This is obvious, I know, but let me just say that Al Franken is a big, fat idiot. And I look forward to seeing his talk radio show fail miserably.

Big Mimsy Snowstorm Back East

Currently 44 degrees and raining lightly here in Portland Oregon. Maybe I'll take another hike today. Everything here is green, moist and alive. Sigh.