And Now for Something Completely Different

So I got this bright idea of saving a few dollars and getting my 10 y.o. daughter (who is up for any adventure) to cut my hair. She dutifully buzzed away at it per my instructions and left me with a mediocre to embarassing look. I decided to touch it up myself. Holding a small mirror for a reflection of a reflection in front of the bathroom mirror, I took more and more off. Awkward to cut like that, but it was actually coming out not too bad. Short, but not too bad. But wait. As I artistically whisked away fluffs of hair with the electric buzzcutter, the little plastic teeth popped off, the ones that assure a reasonable distance between head and blades. I didn't notice in time. I carved a canyon from the top of my forehead to the top of my head head. A closely shaved canyon.

It's very interesting being bald. It's different. If I pull my ears into points, puff my cheeks, and make big eyes at the mirror, I can look like a goblin. I have a single gold ear ring, so if I fold my arms and stick out my chest I can look like Mr. Clean (cleans your whole house and everything that's in it). Or I can just relax and maintain a neutral expression and look a little like Lex Luthor Kojak Picard and a quite a bit like Kennewick Man, who was, after all, discovered only about 70 miles from where I live. (My nose is smaller and my cheekbones less pronounced.) But here's the real kicker.

I'm starting to like it.

It got rid of a lot of grey hair. Makes me look younger. Now I'm sort of a handsome devil. This may be my look.

Plus. I won't have to comb my hair in the morning (saving 5 minutes/day x 365 days = 30.4166 hours per year). I will use almost no shampoo. I will have no more bad hair days. I will save over $100 per year in barber fees. And, I will fear no lice.

Creeping Socialism from Socialist Creeps

What socialist country contains the local governments that this Fox news article refers to:

"According to examples from the report, governments condemned a family's home so that a manager of a planned new golf course could live in it; evicted four elderly siblings from their home of 60 years so developers could build a private industrial park; and removed a woman in her 80s from her home of 55 years in order, they said, to expand a sewer plant. Instead, the municipality ended up giving the woman's home to an auto dealership."

I know, I know. This wasn't socialism. These were probably cases of corrupt officials using the power of their office to help their friends, line their own pockets, and accumulate more power. But that is exactly what happens in socialist countries. Just look at Europe, China, Russia, California, etc...

Hillary Apologizes to Bush

SOUTHINGTON, Conn. -- In a tearful speech Monday night, U.S. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton apologized to the Bush administration and to the American people for having been such a "lying, spiteful, power-hungry bitch" and promised to do better in the future. She admited that her husband's administration had the worst economic policies since the "catastrophic presidency" of Jimmy Carter and had passed on to Bush an economy on the edge of collapse. But Bush, she said, is on the right track with his planned tax cuts, noting, "There is no better way to get the economy jump-started than to allow the workers of America to keep and spend more of the money they have earned."

Clinton, D-N.Y., told about 1,550 Connecticut Democrats that an increasing number of Americans are happy with Bush's policies.

"There is a sense of quiet elation," she told the party faithful gathered at the Democrats' annual Jefferson Jackson Bailey dinner in Southington. "People have stopped listening to the hateful demagoguery of the Democrats and, instead, believe what they hear and what they see."

Hillary disputed the claim made by some that she is totally devoid of integrity. She pointed out that if she had been totally devoid of integrity she would have used this keynote speech to spew hatred and false accusations at the Bush administration as a way of sucking up to the hard-line Democrat party faithful in attendance. "I would have played you like the obsequious party hacks you are," she said. "You would have been cheering every lie and sneering insult I could level at Bush. I would have had you chanting 'Four legs good, two legs better,' by the end of the evening," she quipped, in an apparent reference to the simple-minded sheep in Animal Farm, Orwell's famous satire of duplicity and double talk by the power-hungry leaders of the Communist Party.

---Read the Entire Speech---

Patriot Act

What's with this?

Dubouble Fubeatuber

That's in Ubaduby.

Beer, chips, and a DVD with El Mariachi on one side and Desperado on the other.

El Mariachi: the budget so low that, although it's in color, it seems like black and white; silly, bloody, predictable plot; unknown actors; Mexican Spanish with English subtitles; however, through some magic of enthusiasm, sincerity, and talent it works really, really well. Wonderful movie. How did they do that?

Desperado: Hollywood's bigger budget sequel. Real actors; bigger booms; Salma and Antonio naked; slicker editing; guitarcase rocket launchers---it's an abominable piece of crap. It almost works if you think of it as a parody of El Mariachi, but not quite. Why would they do this? (Oh, yeah, now I remember. Money.)